This New Years didn’t really feel like a ‘new year’ if I’m honest. I still had the same issues, the same pains, the same weight and the same mindset as I did the day before. The only difference was the change in date, I guess this is obvious by now but this year for some reason I felt the continuity more than what I ever have. Not to say this is a terrible thing, I left 2022 feeling pretty strong in my career and mindset so the transition along with these things was welcomed.
There’s so much happening in the world right now that it’s hard to brush it all away with a change in date. Deaths of icons, of children on ice, of people driving to parties on New Years Eve. There’s people who I wish the new year would wash away the pain of 2022, those who have lost husbands or wives, siblings or children. But it doesn’t, does it? That tick over to 2023 doesn’t come with a renewed anything, unless you want to count the pending transactions in your bank then yes, all kinds of new things can be found there.
It’s hit me even deeper that the only real renewing comes from God. It comes from the Holy Spirit swooping in and soothing everything you want to be anew. I know this is a super Christian thing to say, but it’s true. The only time my spirit genuinely feels cleansed is after a good breakdown and worship session. After I’ve laid it all out to Him and told him my worries, my plans and confessions. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and this year I feel that more than ever.
You probably didn’t expect this newsletter to turn in to an evangelical service lol but sitting here at 1:59am this is all I want to share. That new feeling you’re after comes from God and God alone. This isn’t to say God will make you stop feeling things, remove the pain from loss and halt Ann harrow but it is to say He renews you so you have the mind to lean on Him, He becomes your strength in times you’re weak and He’ll mend your broken heart to a place of restoration and love.
So that’s where I’m getting my newness from this year and every year in fact, it’s the kind of new that a tick on a clock can never bring.